A relapse or an episode?

I promised yesterday that I would veer off-topic today, and here it is. It is also personal and may ramble a bit. No apologies, just FYI.

My son Robert spent a week in the hospital last year with a curious disease called ADEM for short. I shared about here at B2Blog, but essentially the neurologist described it as a form of encephalitis that acts like a one-time MS-type (Multiple Sclerosis) event.

Tuesday it became clear to me that he was having similar symptoms (low dexterity in his left hand and foot) and was probably suffering from a relapse, which the internet soon confirmed is possible. I also found some other articles with medical descriptions of many different related causes, some with dire outcomes. So Robert is now back at the hospital doing a new course of steroids and waiting for a spinal-tap and MRI. Unfortunately, we feel comfortable at the hospital...and we feel upset because this wasn't supposed to happen again.

Despite not having new tests done, the neurologist was ready to make his own prognosis. Basically he saw this as one continuous problem, as there were signs that he didn't fully recover from the first event, especially an MRI last August that showed new lesions. 'I really see this as more of a case of MS' he finally told us. It didn't come out of the blue...we were warned in August that it was a possibility.

CRAP!

He went on to describe how even though Robert is a statistical lottery winner (most MS cases are female, and onset is usually in early adulthood), it doesn't mean it can't happen to him. The doctor was more confident in his diagnosis without being influenced by the numbers. This makes this hospital event an MS Episode, or flare-up, not an ADEM relapse.

For right now, we are dealing with the day-to-day recovery of this episode, but we will have to make some long range decisions about treatment. And the worry about his long-term prognosis--will this be degenerative or not (some people suffer under MS, others just struggle, if you can understand the distinction).

So from yesterday's post (which I started before we went to the hospital and finished when I got home), here are why those three Men's Health articles have new poignancy:

• The article about "How Happy Are You?" should have an obvious tie-in.
• The article about flu quarantines reminds me that the long-term strategy to deal with this (via medication) will be a hard decision to get 'right'. Well, there is no 'right'.
• And the interview with Robert Rodriguez causes me ache because my Robert is creative and I wish him success like Mr. Rodriguez. Now it hurts to think that far ahead.

The best advise came from a fellow MS sufferer, my Mother...but its not what you would expect. She told me this after his August MRI: "Remember that whatever the diagnosis, he still hasn't changed. He is still Robert."

While I am obviously accepting the diagnosis (which comes from trusting the expert and recognizing the significance of the many clues that lead to his opinion, as there is no definitive test), I am suffering what can only be described as resignation and buyer's remorse. But at the same time I feel empowered...to keep this positive and help lead Robert to a satisfying life. He has been given a special opportunity to live life with the importance and passion that not many healthy people have. God bless him.