Purpose #2: Fellowship

Rather than react day-by-day, since it is too late already, I thought one meaningful post on Fellowship would suffice. Although it makes it harder to figure out where to begin. Maybe because for me it will be the least popular purpose. Why? Lets start there.

I'm in self-imposed exile away from my growing-up home in New Jersey. While I'm happy here, I would say I have very few true friends here, and suprisingly, I find it hard to say anyone at church is in that category.

I am friendly with enough folk, but Rick makes the very true statement that we need to connect deeper for true fellowship (and friendship). I can probably blame the church on a number of points, but I need to get the plank out of my own eye first.

Two things need to happen: 1. The church (and other people, including myself) need to create opportunities to connect. 2. I need to take advantage of them.

The hardest part is getting to know someone well enough to be interested in what's going on in their lives. While I was reading the book, I thought to myself that I find myself connecting best with someone over a beer at a pub. Not exactly a churchy environment, but does it matter? It isn't the alcohol, so much as it is the environment. But do I ask someone from church out for a beer?

IMHO, so much of the superficiality at our church may be traced to our lack of willingness to be ourselves and share our thoughts on subjects like: alcohol, abortion, homosexuality, R-rated movies, freemasonry, evolution, music, Harry Potter, etc. If the burden of subjects like these could be cleared, could we have true fellowship? Or would it only end up dividing us into factions? For now, I'll at least say that I am on the "liberal" side of all of the above subjects. (But don't prejudge what liberal means regarding the above, ask me my opinion, if you want to know me better.)

Interestingly, one of the better friends I've made here (over a few pub nights) is a gun-rights fanatic, while I go to the other extreme. We've never gone head-to-head on the subject, either.

Getting to know people also means that we can drop certain prejudices we have. So, as the church-folk know each other superficially, they become stratified by their prejudices. The weirdos remain weirdos, instead of becoming colorful friends.

The group element of this program is supposed to help create true fellowship. I pray that it does, for the sake of our church.

A purpose-driven link

I can't believe I keep finding Purpose Driven "Links". One of my frustrations is that church websites are a black-hole. What should they do and say? Here is a church that took a very delightful tact.

"The Vineyard" has made their website a collection of stories and other writings, titling their website whatischurch.org. As you can guess, the content attempts to address the purpose-driven title, even offering a "toolbox" for other churches to help explore themselves. A group blog and a message board are also used. Very very cool!

Sunday #3

I wanted to make sure I reflected on how the Purpose Driven Life program meshed with the church services at Redeemer. I was a little disappointed with the small-group time.

The small group time is taking place of the normal adult sunday schools (we call CE). The first three Sundays are supposed to be plenary sessions where the groups are all together. The next three Sundays they can go to their (regular) home meetings instead.

Our group was greatly diminished from its start of I'd guess 18 people. Other people's tables were full, I guess. Not sure where everyone was. We had 5 (my wife and another's wife were doing the Sunday $$ count). Disappointment #1.

The video of Rick Warren seemed to be a rehash of the material from the book, some even verbatim. Disappointment #2.

The group discussion time was limited to about 15 minutes after the video. I thought this was short and I would have been annoyed if the full group was there. Disappointment #3.

The new people who visited the first Sunday weren't there. Disappointment #4. Hopefully our group leader sends out an email to try to pull in our entire group, which would reach them, as well.

Enough complaining... The discussion we did have was worthwhile and insightful. We all seemed to be grappling with the idea of making our lives 'worshipful'. Kurt wondered how one can be worshipful in playing golf, when that time could be spent in a soup kitchen helping others.