Its been a week. That alone should take the pressure off. How do you write about it? How do you talk about it?
My boss and company president died last week of a heart attack here at the office. Joe was a too young 56. The gap in our business is huge, as well as a personal loss of someone I have worked with for almost 18 years. And the shock of realizing I could just walk away from the office, something that he would never be able to do again.
Being the marketer, I realized I had to put something on the website. People are going to be looking for news about it. It was 11pm at night when I finally posted something. One of our overseas reps had sent an email of condolences, and I guess seeing it in print made it real enough that I could talk about.
I showed what I had posted in the morning to a co-worker who made two comments: we should check with his wife first; and it sounded too newsy.
I disabled the post waiting for approval, and replaced some of my text with someone else’s “we regret to inform you…”. Turns out that the approval never came. But for at least a few hours the news was right on our website.
What I realized, and was willing to accept, is that in certain situations, dignity and respect are more important than directness and timeliness. The writing style that I use here and on my company website needs to be dialed back, even to the point that the voice no longer seems to be mine. Who really wants to read a death announcement written by someone who was there and personally affected by it anyway?
The thing is, the funeral service had this third-person feel. Part of the problem is that the pastor never acknowledged that a whole company was wondering ‘what’s next?’ I hope that the family felt comforted by her words about his family life, but I wanted her to acknowledge my pain, my worry.
I settled for accepting that our presence there was to comfort the family as well. And the family was very gracious and heartfelt in meeting with everyone who was there.
So what do you say? What do you write? Who’s your audience? Will you make others (or yourself) cry? Are you direct and personal, or formal and polite? Does it gloss over the ugliness or make it real to others?
All these questions for someone who has to communicate, never mind the personal thoughts one has about the passing of a colleague.
Shalom Joe Hamm.
My first thoughts are how deeply sorry I am for his family, both at home and work. The sudden loss of a loved one is never easy. I see nothing wrong with information with a personal touch. When someone means something to you, a non-personal note seems forced, whereas allowing the grief to show makes it more real for everyone else. That’s just my two cents worth, Dave.
My first thoughts are how deeply sorry I am for his family, both at home and work. The sudden loss of a loved one is never easy. I see nothing wrong with information with a personal touch. When someone means something to you, a non-personal note seems forced, whereas allowing the grief to show makes it more real for everyone else. That’s just my two cents worth, Dave.
“dignity and respect are more important than directness and timeliness”What an important statement that is. I’m sorry to hear this news Dave, and I think you did a amazing job articulating this very sensitive event.
“dignity and respect are more important than directness and timeliness”What an important statement that is. I’m sorry to hear this news Dave, and I think you did a amazing job articulating this very sensitive event.
Sorry to hear about the loss of your president and friend, Dave. What if you write something from the heart that Joe would have loved, and run it by an editor or another objective person before you publish it?
Sorry to hear about the loss of your president and friend, Dave. What if you write something from the heart that Joe would have loved, and run it by an editor or another objective person before you publish it?
If you are in a company long enough, you will likely have to deal with the death of a colleague or the close relative of a colleague, or that of a senior manager or important customer, supplier or partner. Responding to each is going to be different, both on personal and professional levels, but there are some general guidelines that apply. My advice to Dave on handling the external and internal communications would be as follows: – Both out of politeness and to assuage concerns of instability, it is important for a company to quickly let key stakeholders know of the death of a CEO. This is generally best done as phone calls by senior officers of the company who are either personally familiar with the stakeholders or, because of their positions, are simply the most appropriate contacts. – A press release to trade media is not necessary – as opposed to the announcement of a replacement, which is. If a release is written, it should be very straightforward, with little embellishment. – Even if a replacement – interim or permanent – is known, out of respect for the deceased, it should not be officially announced until a few days have passed. At least.– A note on the company website is also unnecessary. Again, though, if one is posted, it should be fairly straightforward. The only embellishments should be statements of professional standing, i.e., memberships, directorships, etc. – There is no need to pass either of these announcements by the spouse. – A communiqué to employees is a must. Obviously, in this particular case, a brief statement on leadership and contribution to the company’s success over the years is appropriate. Depending on the wishes of the family, you would also cite funeral arrangements. The internal communiqué is the one release that I would pass by the spouse; it is the most personal and most close to home. – As with the external communications, there should be an appropriate delay between the internal announcement of the CEO’s passing and the appointment of his or her replacement. What it all comes down to is common sense. Respect for the deceased’s family and maintaining a sense of dignity in any and all communications, both private and public, are critical.
If you are in a company long enough, you will likely have to deal with the death of a colleague or the close relative of a colleague, or that of a senior manager or important customer, supplier or partner. Responding to each is going to be different, both on personal and professional levels, but there are some general guidelines that apply. My advice to Dave on handling the external and internal communications would be as follows: – Both out of politeness and to assuage concerns of instability, it is important for a company to quickly let key stakeholders know of the death of a CEO. This is generally best done as phone calls by senior officers of the company who are either personally familiar with the stakeholders or, because of their positions, are simply the most appropriate contacts. – A press release to trade media is not necessary – as opposed to the announcement of a replacement, which is. If a release is written, it should be very straightforward, with little embellishment. – Even if a replacement – interim or permanent – is known, out of respect for the deceased, it should not be officially announced until a few days have passed. At least.- A note on the company website is also unnecessary. Again, though, if one is posted, it should be fairly straightforward. The only embellishments should be statements of professional standing, i.e., memberships, directorships, etc. – There is no need to pass either of these announcements by the spouse. – A communiqué to employees is a must. Obviously, in this particular case, a brief statement on leadership and contribution to the company’s success over the years is appropriate. Depending on the wishes of the family, you would also cite funeral arrangements. The internal communiqué is the one release that I would pass by the spouse; it is the most personal and most close to home. – As with the external communications, there should be an appropriate delay between the internal announcement of the CEO’s passing and the appointment of his or her replacement. What it all comes down to is common sense. Respect for the deceased’s family and maintaining a sense of dignity in any and all communications, both private and public, are critical.
Thanks for the condolences via comment or emails. And comments on the situation I was ranting about. Murray, thanks for the cut/paste of experience into workable SOP. I hope that I don’t need to use it, but it’s existence here may be a handy reference for someone in the future.
Thanks for the condolences via comment or emails. And comments on the situation I was ranting about. Murray, thanks for the cut/paste of experience into workable SOP. I hope that I don’t need to use it, but it’s existence here may be a handy reference for someone in the future.
Dave, Sorry for your loss. In all honesty, I think it would be difficult for someone to suggest what you should write about. After all, we can understand your situation but never fully grasp how you feel. Ask yourself: What do you think your late friend what of blogged about you? In his honor, I’d do the same for him.
Dave, Sorry for your loss. In all honesty, I think it would be difficult for someone to suggest what you should write about. After all, we can understand your situation but never fully grasp how you feel. Ask yourself: What do you think your late friend what of blogged about you? In his honor, I’d do the same for him.
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Blogger it’s quite userful and open HTML Source that users can modify by themselves.I like it ans I creat my own bloggerhttp://oxoworld.blogspot.comor http://blog.oxotrade.comThanks for the posting!
This is a tragedy and it will take time to come to terms with it. That is a normal occurance after something like this.May I suggest that the company hold (small – 10-20 max) meetings with the staff to share feelings. The funeral might not have conveyed how the company is feeling but the company can do that internally. Have someone sensitive yet strong run the meetings.It will help the progression past this event for people to be able to air their views and share how they feel with each other.Good luck at this difficult time.RegardsStephen
This is a tragedy and it will take time to come to terms with it. That is a normal occurance after something like this.May I suggest that the company hold (small – 10-20 max) meetings with the staff to share feelings. The funeral might not have conveyed how the company is feeling but the company can do that internally. Have someone sensitive yet strong run the meetings.It will help the progression past this event for people to be able to air their views and share how they feel with each other.Good luck at this difficult time.RegardsStephen
Stephen–We are making a memorial to Joe and will have a ceremony in October. I think it will help the healing process, and give us a chance to reflect. Thanks for the advice.
Stephen–We are making a memorial to Joe and will have a ceremony in October. I think it will help the healing process, and give us a chance to reflect. Thanks for the advice.